


I'll Be Home For Christmas [English]

by Miryel



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers - Freeform, Christmas, Endgame, M/M, Sad Story, Slash, Starker, after endgame trailer, avengers end game, i don't want to ruin you your christmas time, i would die for their happiness omg, it's really sad I'm sorry, mavel - Freeform, peter x tony - Freeform, they are everything for me, tony x peter - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 21:17:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16940898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miryel/pseuds/Miryel
Summary: «It's almost Christmas, and you can ask me anything you want! Seriously, Peter! All you want. This year I feel like that, generous».[...]«I don’t know. Apart from Aunt May, no one has ever asked me what I wanted for Christmas. Ned knows me and he doesn’t need to ask what i want… and other people simply never gave me anything. I don’t know, Tony. Everything is fine with me. Anything, even nothing», he says to you, and his simplicity it is also his sincerity. He’s close in his shoulders, he curled his lips, he tightened his fingers around his knees, almost uncomfortable, but his face is illuminated by a happiness that almost seems unreal.[ Starker - Tony x Peter - Angst - After the End Game's trailer - words count: 803]





	I'll Be Home For Christmas [English]

I'll Be Home For Christmas  
...  
  
  
 

  
  
«It's almost Christmas, and you can ask me anything you want! Seriously, Peter! All you want. This year I feel like that, generous», you say, and you pretend to be modest, and you both know that you are not it at all.

You have the arm around his shoulders, and you wearing a very bad Christmas sweater that  Natasha gave to you and so, whereas Peter told you, you decided to wear it though you find it not so fascinating.

Once you would have thrown it away without any hesitation, now instead ... everything seems to have acquired a totally different meaning. The simplest things seem to have turned your attention upside down and set aside all the hype that was part of you.

Peter's face is crossed by an amused twist and, raising his eyes to the ceiling in his most famous expression of overweight, he mumbles.

In response, you begin to caress his hair with a quiet delicacy, which is almost routine. Sometimes you find yourself doing gestures with a naturalness that has never belonged to you.

«I don’t know. Apart from Aunt May, no one has ever asked me what I wanted for Christmas. Ned knows me and he doesn’t need to ask what i want… and other people simply never gave me anything. I don’t know, Tony. Everything is fine with me. Anything, even nothing», he says to you, and his simplicity it is also his sincerity. He’s close in his shoulders, he curled his lips, he tightened his fingers around his knees, almost uncomfortable, but his face is illuminated by a happiness that almost seems unreal.

Maybe it is, who knows...

«Is there any new video game you want?»

«I don’t even have a console to play with, unfortunately!», He exclaims, and then laughs.

Damn it, you would see him doing it forever...

«Fair enough! Tomorrow we're going to buy a console. Or all of them. In short, those you want. I don’t mind shopping, you know». You say to him, and he shakes his head, and he don’t stop giggling even for a moment.

«Why do I know that telling you that there is no need will not help you to change your mind?»

«Because in fact that's how it goes, kid. Take or leave», you answer, and you lean over to leave a light kiss on his lips, which with the lights of the decorated tree seems warmer and more unique than usual.

Will this be, the Christmas magic that everyone talks about?

«I'll take it, I'll take it!», He replies, and giggles again. Then he becomes serious, and looks at you with his eyes divided in two by the thick eyelashes that look like a crown of sprigs just sprouted, «And what would you like for Christmas?»

The lights of the tree seem to go out. The atmosphere of just before is lost in the air, and the room almost looks dark, it seems empty, it looks like hell.

You stop caress his hair and you arching your eyebrows. An ignoble and wounded smile cuts your face in two parts.

«I wish you were here, with me», you say. You feel so stupid that your eyes are filling with tears. Not of sadness, not anger, but tears of shame.

Peter sighed imperceptibly. He smiles. He smiles and doesn’t. He smiles and he pretends it’s real.

Or maybe not.

«I can not be there, you know».

«I know ... I know it’s all in my head, and I know you’re not really here, but without this conviction... I’m a dead man, and I’m alone but it is what I desire. I wish you were here».

«I would like to be here, too», he admits. You know you only imagined it, but you also know that Peter would have said that. He would do it. And if he had not disappeared like half of the population, he would be there with you, making Christmas a happy moment. After so many years since it is not anymore.

You kiss his lips again. You kiss his cheek, his cheekbone, his hair. He holds his hands around the ugly sweater, and smiles at you. He does it, as if he had never left.

Something makes noise; something breaks in the atmosphere, and you're forced to open your eyes.

You're back in that spaceship, far from home, away from the world, far from life. Every second more.

Oxygen is limited, and you're already playing bad jokes; the truth is that you would like it to be like this forever. Until the end.

If going to death means that you can live what you always desired to have in your life, then that's okay.

Even if it's fake, it's still better than nothing.

_Part of the journey is the end._

The End.

  
  
 


End file.
